2nd CINEMARTIAN MOVIE AWARDS

 Hello there puny humans,
and welcome to the second annual "Cinemartian Movie Awards". Since readers seemed to enjoy last year's awards, I thought that I would keep the tradition. Additionally, it gives me the chance to honor movies that didn't quite make it onto my top ten list. And this year those were quite a few! Because 2017 was a fantastic year for cinema. After having some fun with categories last time, I tried to run equally wild this time around. So now, I present to you the winners of my prestigious awards:

BIGGEST POSITIVE SURPRISE:
Winner: My Life as a Courgette
I've talked about this movie multiple times, when I reviewed last year's Academy Awards and when I put up my Top 10 Films of the year. So maybe I should start to shut up about this Swiss-French stop motion animated kids movie. But seriously, this was the most unexpected gem of 2017. It was the weekend of the Oscars and me and my two best movie buddies set out to see as many nominated films as we could. Jokingly I said: "Well on Sunday they play 'My Life as a Courgette', we could catch that one as well. Haha." Surprisingly, I got an uber-enthusiastic 'Yes' from my companions. When we stood in line to buy the tickets my motivation was incredibly low. "Thank God I only have to sit through this thing for 70 minutes." Then the film started and I was completely captivated after only five minutes!

BEST USE OF MUSIC:
Winner: Baby Driver

I mean, there really is no competition. The way that music was used in this film was out of this world. Multiple different elements of the soundtrack were utilized to perfectly suck us into the main characters mood and perspective. The action lined up with the rhythm of the songs. The lyrics described the situation our character was in ("Nowhere to run to, Baby, nowhere to hide!"). The music stopped coming out of the left speaker, when Baby wasn't wearing his left earphone. The flow of the music represented how smooth things go (remember when the heist goes wrong and Baby has to restart a song?). And above all, it was just god damn cool music. In an interview director Edgar Wright said that he had a playlist called "Baby Maybes" with over a thousand potential songs for the film. I really want that playlist.

BEST SOUNDTRACK TO WORK OUT TO:
Winner: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

When I saw the trailer for this movie for the first time, I could see Guy Ritchie's fingerprints all over it. Personally, I really enjoy the director's style. I think his movies have a vigorous energy to them that just gets you excited. The same goes for his soundtracks. The score of "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword" gets you pumped. Whenever I need a motivational push, I just blast "Run Londinium", "Seasoned Oak" or "Jackseye's Tale" through my headphones. As a Hip-Hop fan I can especially appreciate the head-nodding qualities of the latter. These tracks get your heart pounding and your muscles moving. Furthermore, I also just wanted to give this movie an award because I do not think it deserved the negative backlash it got. Yes, there are a few structural problems, but there is certainly fun to be had with this film.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS:
Winner: War for the Planet of the Apes
Technology has come incredibly far in the last few decades and often we only notice how good special effects are today, when we see cringy CGI in older films. But this Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy has put me in absolute awe every time watched one of its films for the first time. I am still not 100% convinced that 20th Century Fox didn't train actual apes for this. This is pure movie magic. And the best thing about these films is that they have even more to offer than just outstanding VFX. Andy Serkis is fantastic as Caeser, the cinematography is beautiful and the movie perfectly manages to be a captivating action film and a humanistic drama at the same time.

THE "WHY DOES THIS EXIST?"-AWARD:
Winner: Transformers: The Last Knight

Every time I see a new Transformers movie I ask myself this question. Why? Why? Whyyyy? The first film was an okay Popcorn flick that had more than a few flaws, but was enjoyable for what it was. The more movies came however, the worse it got. This series is one of the laziest, inconsistent and dumbest franchises ever created. There is just so little effort put in these movies that it is an insult for every serious film maker. And yet, the Transformers franchise keeps making money. It's frustrating to see so many people buying movie tickets for crap like that while absolutely amazing films like "Blade Runner 2049" struggle at the box office. For a long time, another one of the worst parts about this for me was that people started throwing these films in the same pot with "Pacific Rim", a movie I love very dearly. But since I have written an article about this I can just refer people to it.

THE "I DON'T CARE THAT THIS EXISTS"-AWARD:
Winner: Beauty and the Beast

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that this movie sucks. But... well... it is the same movie as the 1991 classic. Almost exactly the same. Why do we need this? I mean the film sure has the Disney magic and all, but I could just watch the original for that. The few changes that they made had no additional value for me and in some ways made the movie even worse. So the Beast can now teleport? Why is he moping around in his castle then, when he could be sipping Piña Coladas on the beaches of southern France? And the partially autotuned voices of Emma Watson and Dan Stevens didn't really elevate the material either. The only new thing I actually found cool was introducing LeFou as a homosexual. But that is not what I need these live-action remakes for.

THE "I DIDN'T KNOW I CARED THAT THIS EXISTS"-AWARD:
Winner: Fate of the Furious

I have sneered at this franchise for the longest part of my life. It wasn't until last spring, when I marathoned the entire series in one day (the full experience documented here), that the Fast & Furious movies found their way to my heart. Yes, these films are ridiculous and totally bonkers, but that doesn't stop them from being inventive, caring about their character's history and actually leaving their continuity in tact. They do not take themselves seriously, but they do take their audience seriously. This is also the way in which their are different to the Transformers franchise despite falling in the same broader category of mindless blockbusters. When I finally sat down to watch "Fate of the Furious" I had a blast. I was happy to see outrageous action, cheesy one-liners and a ton of references to past films. If you'd asked me a few years back, I probably wouldn't have believed it. And if you still don't believe it, I recommend Patrick H. Willems' video on why these movies are great.

BEST T-SHIRTS:
Winner: Anything worn by Ben from IT (portrayed by Jeremy Ray Taylor)
"IT" had a lot to offer. The eighties setting gave it nostalgia points, the child actors had really good chemistry, the camera work was great and it was a classic horror story. The one thing that amazed me the most, however, was how cool Ben's t-shirts were. I love tees with creative, colorful and ironically cheesy designs. Almost every time Jeremy Ray Taylor walked on screen with a new outfit I thought to myself: "Man, I want a shirt with that motif!". An Oscar nomination for Best Costume Design would have been nice, but I guess the Academy values elaborate dressmaking over a good eye during shirt shopping.... pff...

BEST "GHOST IN THE SHELL"-REMAKE:
Winner: Blade Runner 2049
The 1995 original "Ghost in the Shell" is not only an amazing anime, but also a great cerebral science fiction film. Through its futuristic setting it explored philosophical themes like the connection between body and soul, the definition of identity, and whether there is such a thing as an objective reality. The 2017 remake starring Scarlett Johansson was an enjoyable film, but failed to be as thought-provoking as its source material - or as visually stunning for that matter. The channel Nerdwriter1 actually mad a great video on how the remake lost the meaningful color pallets and didn't take enough time to let its moments and images sink in. "Blade Runner 2049" on the other hand had all that. It played with colors, touched on the themes of the original "Ghost in the Shell" and had almost meditative sequences that let the audience reflect on what they were witnessing. It was a masterclass sci-fi film cast in the same mold of the beloved Japanese classic.
Of course I also have to address the white-washing concerning the casting of the new "Ghost in the Shell" film, which didn't help the movie either. Their solution to the problem of having cast a white actress for an Asian role actually turned out to be counterproductive as it left room for some bad interpretations. If you get a superior body, they make you white? Urgh, let's not go down that road...

LEAST SEXUALIZED FEMALE MAIN CHARACTER:
Winner: Wonder Woman in Wonder Woman
The most wonderful thing about "Wonder Woman" was that it gave us an amazing portrayal of a female heroine. No compromises were made when creating this amazing amazon. Diana Prince was as bad-ass as she was beautiful, as warm-hearted as she was brave and as much of a team-player as she was independent. She simply was the whole package. Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot depicted the character with respect and grace. Her strength came from within and not from other people around her being incompetent. The film might have had a few flaws, but the portrayal of Wonder Woman was inspiring to men and women alike. 

MOST SEXUALIZED FEMALE MAIN CHARACTER:
Winner: Wonder Woman in Justice League
Only five month after we got a progressive portrayal of a female super-hero, a stick-in-the-mud called "Justice League" came along. Suddenly, Gal Gadot was filmed from suspiciously low angles with her butt right in the foreground of the shot. While the humor between her and Chris Pine had been clever and cute in her solo film, her big comedic moment here was when flash accidentally fell face first into her cleavage. And I could swear that the skirt of her costume has gotten shorter. Yes, she still kicked ass most of the time, but seeing her so obviously sexualized was just a crying shame...

MOST VISIBLE MUSTACHE:
Winner: Hercule Poirot (as performed by Kenneth Branagh in Murder on the Orient Express)
"Murder on the Orient Express" was not a perfect film, but it did have a whole lot of style. In his performance you could see that Kenneth Branagh had a lot of fun with his character, but it also showed in the look he chose for him. While Poirot has always been described as flamboyant, concerned with his looks and proud of his beard, no visual incarnation of the character took it as far as Branagh’s. This mustache is of such magnificent size and style that hardly any movie character can compete. And even though I was watching an intriguing and skillfully acted murder mystery on screen, my mind couldn’t help but wander off and speculate about what effort it would take to grow and groom such (literally) outstanding facial hair. I was impressed and envious at the same time.

LEAST VISIBLE MUSTACHE:
Winner: Superman (as performed by Henry Cavill in Justice League)

This is one of the funniest stories in Hollywood history. Shortly after "Justice League" had stopped filming, Henry Cavill started shooting "Mission: Impossible - Fallout". But then, Warner Brothers Studios needed to do some extensive reshoots for "Justice League". The problem was that Henry Cavill had already grown a full mustache for his role in "M:I 6" and was contractually prohibited from shaving it off. WB Studios begged Paramount Pictures to let Cavill shave anyways, but Paramount refused, because they didn't want to go through the trouble of digitally adding the mustache in post-production (even though WB offered to cover for the expenses). As a result, Warner Brothers had to do it the other way round. They shot the additional Superman footage with a bearded Cavill and had to later remove his stache through the power of visual effects. It was actually rumored that this cost the studio as much as 25 million dollars! Which is insane! This makes Henry Cavill's whiskers the most expensive facial hair of all time, and if you look close enough you can actually notice his fake CGI lip in "Justice League".

MOVIE WHOSE ARC OF SUSPENSE MOST RESEMBLED A FULLY INFLATED BALLOON THAT SOMEONE SUDDENLY WHIZZED OFF:
Winner: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
I know that this award sounds a little contrived, but you'd be surprised how many movies this applies to. In 2017 "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" fit that bill the most. It had a lot going for it in the beginning. First of all, Luc Besson had reached out to design schools world-wide to get diverse creative input for the look of his different alien races. The result was a world filled with a huge variety of interesting and exciting creatures. Secondly, the cold open on the unidentified planet made for an intriguing mystery. And lastly, the market place scene in the first act was an incredibly cool way to use sci-fi concepts for an exciting action sequence. So for the first half an hour or so I was totally on board. But then the film quickly lost me. The character of Laureline (whose name was already cut from the title compared to the comic) could have been a strong female character, but was degraded to an only slightly empowered damsel in distress after the first act. Then Valerian goes on a weird side quest to save her, which only makes the movie lose its momentum and could have easily been cut. Additionally, the secret villain of the story was revealed to the audience very early on, but not to our main characters. When Valerian and Laureline see through his game in the very end and confront him, the viewer already has been knowing almost everything they unveil for about an hour. It simply makes the finale much less meaningful. Seeing "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" start so well but then decrease in quality so quickly was kind of frustrating.

CHAMELEON ACTOR AWARD:
Winner: Domhnall Gleeson

Whenever I get to talk about Domhnall Gleeson I praise him to the skies. Finally, I can make it "official" by awarding him this prize. Consider this an early Lifetime Achievement Award, because Gleeson has already played vastly different characters in films like "The Revenant", "Ex Machina", "Harry Potter" and "Brooklyn". In 2017 he proved his versatility once more by playing an ultimate dork in "Crash Pad", reprising his role as a sleazy fascist in "Star Wars",  chilling me to the bone with his brief appearance in "mother!", giving us a gentle portrayal of a writer suffering from PTSD in the biopic "Goodbye Christopher Robin", and almost overshadowing Tom Cruise with his charismatic performance in "American Made". This guy can do anything! If I were to wake up in a parallel universe where he was cast in every single male role of every film ever made, I probably wouldn't mind.

BEST MOVIE DAD:
Winner: Frank Adler (as performed by Chris Evans in Gifted)

Next to having portrayed seven different characters in over 10 comic-book based movies, Chris Evans has also always had a sweet spot for smaller indie films. In his latest outing, "Gifted", he plays Frank, the legal guardian of a young girl that turns out to be... well... gifted. And even though Frank is technically her uncle, he is the perfect dad. Through the entire film you really believe that he has her best interest at heart and that he puts her needs before his every time. He is kind, intelligent and, you know, played by Chris Evans, so also incredibly handsome and charming. This is one of these main characters you constantly root for, because he is such a good dude.

WORST MOVIE DAD:
Winner: Him (as performed by Javier Bardem in mother!)

I don't think I have to explain my reasoning for this award to anyone who has actually seen "mother!". For those who haven't, I don't really want to spoil the movie. Let's just say Javier Bardem's nameless poet is like a reverse Liam Neeson in the sense that if his child were to be kidnapped, he wouldn't go "I will find you, and I will kill you!", but rather "I will forgive you, and I will love you!"

BEST FIGHT SCENE:
Winner: The "Stairway Fight" in Atomic Blonde

This movie has often been referred to as "Female John Wick". While I see the parallels, it is much more of a spy movie, whereas "John Wick" is a straight up action flick. This is also why I think it is inferior to both "John Wick" movies, because "Atomic Blonde" loses a lot of momentum through a convoluted plot and many dialogue scenes during which the audience isn't really invested in what happens. However, when the action did kick in, it was a roundhouse-kick straight to the face. Damn, these fights were amazing - merciless, brutal and unpolished. Especially, the 7-minute long-take in which Charlize Theron fights herself through a building was absolutely insane! Nobody is pulling their punches, and in the end the characters are so beaten down that they actually need a couple of seconds to pick themselves up again. It's wild! Read my full review of the film here.

BIGGEST REASON TO QUESTION MY SEXUALITY:
Winner: Dev Patel & His unexpected Sexiness in Lion
Unsuspectingly, I walked into "Lion" ready to simply check one more Oscar nominated movie of my list. What I got was not only one of my favorite films of last year but also a surprising feeling of physical attraction to the films lead actor. I couldn't explain it. Dev Patel used to look like one of the dorkiest Indian kids with his lanky physique and jug ears. But when he stepped on screen during the second half of the film, with his hunky beard, his broad smile and perfect hair I was like "Damn! Dev got hot!". In one scene, I even found myself leaning over to my female friend whispering: "Man, check out that nice butt!" If I ever were to enter a homosexual relationship, Dev Patel would be the one to make me do it.

BEST FILM TO BE PART OF A MARATHON:
Winner: Sharknado 5: Global Swarming
It thought about going serious with this one and actually go with "War for the Planet of the Apes". Even when I decided not to, "Fate of the Furious" was a hot contender. But man, I just had to give this one to "Sharknado 5: Global Swarming". This franchise is so ingeniously dumb and trashy. In a marathon, you can witness the already outlandish premise escalate from film to film. And just when you think this series became too self-aware and contrived with its fourth movie, "Global Swarming" comes along, rights the wrongs from its predecessor and actually has some genuinely surprising moments to offer. This movie takes the franchise in a whole new and even crazier direction and the cliffhanger at the end makes you actually excited for the next installment.

BEST CLIFFHANGER:
Winner: John Wick: Chapter 2
Despite the twist ending of "Sharknado 5", the award for Best Cliffhanger has to go to "John Wick: Chapter 2". Firstly, the film makers managed to resolve their main plot before putting in that cliffhanger, and so managed to make this a self-contained story despite the open ending. This is incredibly cool, because it gives this franchise an overarching through-line, while simultaneously telling separate stories in each film. Secondly, the implications of said open ending guarantee an even bigger, even more intense third film. The first movie was a surprise hit that left me wanting to know more about the stylistic and intriguing world it built. The second chapter broadened this world and showed us that the system in which our main-character was operating is bigger than we might have expected. And the way it looks now, the next film will be letting that system collapse over his head and turn into chaos. Personally, I can't wait! I mean, an epic finale to a graphic-novel-esque movie series revolving around Keanu Reeves in gun-fu-mode... what's not to love?

BEST MOVIE I DIDN'T SEE:
Winner: Get Out

Per Definition, I can't really say a lot about this. But of all the films I missed, this movie was the one that popped up in most conversations about 2017's best releases. "Get Out" took the world by storm. Not only did people think that this was a very skillfully crafted horror film, but the social commentary of its story seemed to have transcended that genre. Suddenly writer-director Jordan Peele's name was everywhere. The former sketch comedian got suggested for multiple potential directing gigs by film buffs and movie magazines. Even the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was listening and nominated "Get Out" for four of the Big Five Oscars. Needless to say, I really really need to catch up on this film. Everything I heard about it so far sounds like I would have a lot of fun with it.

BEST MOVIE YOU DIDN'T SEE:
Winner: Jungle

Nobody talked about this film. And I think the reason is that nobody saw it. I, however, was lucky enough to catch this Australian survival drama at the Nürnberg Fantasy Film Festival. While it might not be an entirely perfect film, I believe it deserved more recognition than it got. The soundtrack is vibrant, the characters are well-written and the story is captivating. Also Daniel Radcliffe (who has continued to impress me with his bold and diverse choice of projects) gives one of his best performances. This is a film for fans of backpacking and survival movies, but it is also an interesting study of our main characters mind. On top of that the setting of the Bolivian Jungle makes for some absolutely gorgeous shots. If you go into the movie knowing nothing about its story it will take you on a great ride of wonder, suspicion and tragedy. Check it out when you have the chance!

And now we are done! All the Awards are handed out, and all I have to do is to thank you all for reading this long and silly article. I hope you had fun with my made up categories. I certainly had fun writing them. What other Awards would you have given out? Which ones did you think I gave to the wrong person or movie? Feel free to comment below and be sure to check out  "TOP 10 FILMS OF 2017"-List where I honored my personal best of the best.

Sincerely,
Your Cinemartian

1st CINEMARTIAN MOVIE AWARDS

 Hello there puny humans,
and welcome to the first annual "Cinemartian Movie Awards". It is an idea that I (shamelessly) straight up stole from my good friend B.A., so please take the time to take a look at his Screentest Awards. So, now where my conscience is a little lighter, let's proceed. 2016 was a big cinematic year, and I had the feeling I wasn't able to write about everything I wanted to write about. Thus, I thought of the following Awards to honor the best and worst of last year's movies:

BIGGEST POSITIVE SURPRISE:
Winner: Warcraft
Let's start with a film I absolutely had no high expectation for, but really really enjoyed: "Warcraft". While the critics score on Rotten Tomatoes puts it as low as 28%, the fan voting puts it at 72%. Sure, this is not a masterpiece, but you could most certainly have a lot of fun with this fantasy world. The story was something new, fights looked damn cool, and especially the character of the orc Durotan was very relatable. Toby Kebbell seems to be getting quite good at that motion capture thing (having last appeared as Koba in "Dawn of the Planet of The Apes") and looking at his most recent live-action choices (*cough* Fantfourstic *cough*) he should maybe stick with that. For my part, I would go and watch a Warcraft sequel.

BEST SOUNDTRACK:
Winner: Swiss Army Man

I've never hidden my love for this film, but my love for the soundtrack might be even bigger. It is amazing on so many levels. The way it was woven into the movie was something I had never seen in a film before, the use of mostly acapella sounds gave it something otherworldly, and even though the lyrics seem so random, the whole soundtrack is able to evoke a wide range of emotions, from incredibly uplifting to purely melancholic. Its song "Montage" became one of my favorites, and has been running through my headphones over and over again.

BEST VISUALS:
Winner: Doctor Strange
Even though I did have a few minor problems with the story structure and tone of "Doctor Strange", there is no way I could criticize its artistic value on a visual level. And there is a good reason this award isn't called best visual effects: There is no doubt that this movie has astonishing special effects, with its kaleidoscopic look and the way it twists and turns space and time. Its action sequences are epic. But even beyond that "Doctor Strange" has an impressive visual language with symbolism and recurring images that explain the characters journey without words. Hats off to Scott Derrickson for chosing his shots so carefully and precisely.

WORST VISUALS:
Winner: Gods of Egypt
I have no words for this... See for yourselves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Szk38YiyHBg

BEST 3D:
Winner: Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them
Some might wonder how this is different from Best Visual Effects. But while I thought the visuals of "Doctor Strange" would work perfectly fine in 2D as well, I felt like the third dimension really added a lot to the movie going experience of "Fantastic Beasts". David Yates really tried to use the depth in his shots, and especially when creatures in different sizes are involved, it gives you a better feel for that.

MOVIE THAT MOST AFFECTED MY EVERYDAY LIFE:
Winner: Snowden
I never was completely oblivious of the danger concerning the internet in relation to the NSA and other intelligence agencies. Nonetheless, "Snowden" creeped me out. Apart from giving me a whole new respect for the whistleblower himself, it answered the popular question: "What would the NSA do with information on me? I have nothing to hide!"  It made me more aware and careful, and although I feel like intelligence agencies still have an immense power over me, I might be able to reduce it at least a tiny little bit in the future.

BEST ON-SCREEN COUPLE:
Winner: Brie Larson & Jacob Tremblay in Room

The chemistry between these two was off the charts in this film. Their characters' relationship is the heart and soul of the story, and so the success of the film laid heavily on the shoulders of these two actors. But their performance was simply perfect and is one of the reasons this movie is so special. You simply believe every exchange they have, be it verbal or non-verbal. It earned Brie Larson a well-deserved Oscar, and should have brought Jacob Tremblay at least a nomination (but well, you know, the Academy works in mysterious ways). To me, these two people will be forever linked in my head.

WORST ON-SCREEN COUPLE:
Winner: Batman & Superman
Now, I want to make a clear distinction here. I am not talking about Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne. Their short sly conversation at Lex's party was actually one of the best parts of this movie mess. Once the two put on their capes however, they turned into bruting, testosterone-driven knuckleheads, who are very bad at properly communicating with each other. Talking for example would have been a good starting point. Sure, they eventually found out that their moms have the same name, but even when they decided to be on the same team, they didn't really act that teamy. I don't know, I just felt like a little consultation with one another could have avoided that whole death of Superman thing...

BEST MOVIE VILLAIN:
Winner: Howard Stambler (as performed by John Goodman in 10 Cloverfield Lane)
Despite all the big flashy sci-fi and superhero blockbusters that came out, my favorite bad guy of 2016 is not a supernatural or extraterrestrial being, but a man of flesh and blood. John Goodman's portrayal of Howard Stampler in the claustrophobic thriller "10 Cloverfield Lane" is simply outstanding. You never know what exactly is going on in his head, and in the beginning, you even question whether he really is the villain of the story. He is incredibly menacing, but yet has a vulnerability to him that sometimes makes you feel uncomfortably sorry for the guy. It is a premium performance by a premium actor.

WORST MOVIE VILLAIN:
Winner: Enchantress (as performed by Cara Delevingne in Suicide Squad)

It was a close call between the other nominees, Doomsday and Apocalypse, and this weird witch. But Doomsday, as shoehorned in as he was, still went berserk and managed to kill the Man of Steel. Apocalypse looked like a villain from a 90s TV Show (anyone remember the "Mystic Knights"?), and his choice to pick Angel as one of his four horsemen (just before giving him an outfit Gene Simmons would have been proud of) was questionable. And yet, he too, vaporized people left and right, and even managed to slow Quicksilver down. Thus, their shittiness was no match for the Enchantress: After her soul breaks out of its vessel, she is immediately captured by the government. When she (kind of) breaks free, she gets all pouty, because she is jealous of cell phones and printers. The hurt girl then runs to her older brother for help. As villains do, they cast a light beam in the sky, which she then protects for the rest of the film through the power of experimental dancing. It's incredibly stupid. Oh, and did I mention she is the only villain in movie history who looks less bad-ass the more powerful she gets...

BEST LANDING OF AN AIRCRAFT:
Winner: Chesley Sullenberger (as performed by Tom Hanks in Sully)
Clint Eastwood's "Sully" played out more like a documentary than a motion picture. Therefore, it was more interesting than it was thrilling. You couldn't deny however that the sequences during the emergency landing were pretty great. Seeing Tom Hanks land a plummeting airplane safely in the Hudson River is pretty impressive. Knowing that someone actually did this even more! The fact that this person then got given hell by insurance companies for not attempting to land at the nearest airport on the other hand is even sadder.

WORST LANDING OF AN AIRCRAFT:
Winner: Every Helicopter Pilot in Suicide Squad
Three helicopters are in this film. All of them crash. I mean, I get that they are in a combat zone and all, but aren't army pilots trained exactly for that? And they don't even crash in a way that minimizes the passengers harm or something, they flip across the ground and shit. The only reason people survive these crashes is that they were main characters and the script demanded it. Otherwise there was no reason to believe anyone could have survived.

BEST TRAILER:
Winner: 10 Cloverfield Lane

"10 Cloverfield Lane" had by far, the best trailer I saw in 2016. Why? It didn't give away anything about the exact story and just delivered the atmosphere and overall feel of the movie. Odd and uncomfortable. It is build up in a way that confuses but simultaneously intrigues you, starting in a completely different way it ends. And then the creepy looking title appears. First just one word of it: "Cloverfield" and you are like "Wait. I know that title. Isn't that that monster movie?". Then it turns into "10 Cloverfield Lane" and you're like "Wait, what? What exactly is this?". I loved it.

BEST OUTBURST:
Winner: Bryan Cranston playing Robert Mazur pretending to be "Bob Musella" in The Infiltrator

There were a lot of emotional outburst in films this year, but none of them were as sudden and memorable as Bryan Cranston's restaurant scene in "The Infiltrator". The movie is an incredibly well-acted crime drama about real-life special agent Robert Mazur who goes undercover to infiltrate Pablo Escobar's money-laundring organisation. Although the movie doesn't quite know if it wants to be a character study or focus on the story, it had enough thrilling moments to be absolutely enjoyable. In the scene at hand, Robert Mazur takes his wife out for dinner to celebrate their anniversary, when suddenly one of Escobar's men recognizes him and comes to their table. Robert (now switching into his undercover persona Bob Musella) tries to get a hold of the situation by explaining the woman next to him is merely his secretary whose birthday they are celebrating. All seems fine, until the waiter comes by with a cake saying "Happy Anniversary" that Robert had ordered beforehand. To protect his identity, Bob goes nuts on the poor waiter, completely destroying him for allegedly bringing the wrong cake. He yells at him, insults him, punches him and tops the whole thing off by shoving his face into the cake. He acts absolutely despicable. All in front of the eyes of his beloved wife that is shocked to the bones

MOVIE CHARACTERS I MOST WANT TO HANG OUT WITH:
Winner: The Cherokees College Baseball Team from Everybody Wants Some!!
Richard Linklater's films are never really about anything. He kind of just tells life like is. Just a bunch of people doing a bunch of stuff. The same applies to "Everybody Wants Some!!". But the boys of the Cherokees College Baseball Team are an incredibly funny bunch of people doing a whole lot of funny stuff. You see them play Ping Pong, hit on girls, get high, go to a whole lot of different parties, or play pranks on each other in the locker room. The group surrounding Jake, Finn, Dale, Plummer, McReynolds and Willoughby is so diverse and yet they still get along great (most of the time). When watching this film I just wanted to jump into that screen and be part of the gang.

MOVIE CHARACTERS I DO NOT WANT TO HANG OUT WITH:
Winner: The Neo-Nazis from Green Room
A punk band gets trapped backstage in the green room of a Neo-Nazi Club. Unfortunately, they just witnessed a murder and the people responsible for it are outside trying to get in. The premise of "Green Room" is simple but effective. The band members are a bunch of deadbeats making poor decisions throughout the entire movies. The Neo Nazi (led by Professor X himself, Patrick Stewart) are brutal and ruthless. There is violence in this film. A lot of it. And while the film was a thrilling ride to watch, I was incredibly happy to be sitting in the comfortable chair of a theater and not in that Nazi Club.

BEST FILM TO BE PART OF A MARATHON:
Winner: Rogue One - A Star Wars Story
"Rogue One" didn't fully engage me when I watched it the first time. The second time that I saw it however was right in between Episodes III and IV of the Star Wars saga. Yes, a few weeks back I marathoned all eight movies with my two most loyal film nerd friends (a shout-out to B.A. and Lena at this point). And I gotta say, seeing exactly how seamlessly "Rogue One" ties into the overall story (and of course Episode IV in particular) definitely enhanced the movie going experience for me. The film makers certainly knew what they were doing.

BEST MOVIE I DIDN'T SEE:
Winner: Sing Street

Per Definition, I can't really say a lot about this. But of all the films I missed, I feel like Sing Street is the one people praise the most. Set in the 80s, it is a story about a boy who tries to impress a girl by telling her that he has a band. But he doesn't, so now he has to go and form one. It sounds sweet and apparently it really is a feel-good movie. Director John Carney has impressed with films like "Once" or "Begin Again" in the past, both revolving around characters that bond through their love of music. He has a knack for weaving songs into a film and the simplicity of his stories make them just all the more relatable. I definitely have to catch up on this one.

Now that all the Awards are (symbolically) handed out, I want to thank you all for reading what might be my longest article yet. I hope you had fun with my made up categories. I certainly had fun writing them. What Awards would you have given out? Which ones did you think I gave to the wrong person or movie? Feel free to comment below and stay tuned for my "TOP 10 FILMS OF 2016"-List where I finally honor the best of the best. You might even find a film from this article on there!

Sincerely,
Your Cinemartian